Friday, February 17, 2006
my a Level holidays has been the best holiday ever...despite my unsatisfying results, i found true friends...friends who are there for you and understand you...
being a jay fan, i found a true fren who shares the same kind of music and same "shits"...it has been about 12 hours since he left to aussie and m already missing him like hell....just yesterday i tried to occupy myself with sports and hanging out with friends but i still cudnt help thinking about the tyms we spent together.,,singing till late nite during a sleepover at my frens place and drinking hehehe...and not to forget the tyms we went swimming and getting ourselves burn..just dis morning when i woke up and realised it was a fri ( when we always swim),that he is not around anymore to go swimming and no more wrestling..hai~..typing and reminding myself sure is depressing..=s..good tyms good tyms...its ashame that good tyms dont last..
maybe its abit too soon to say that i miss em especialy being only 12 hours. it feels completely diff now. one moment you have sumone to tok to...sumone u can help and he help you..and the next moment, he is not there anymore..im sure we can still keep in touch but it wont compare to his presence.
all's well that ends well
Thursday, February 16, 2006Who ever sed that happy endings are for real? Even if there are happy endings...how long u reckon that'll last...???
this is how i see life...
when good things happen to you..it will not ever last long...u'll either screw it up or just very unlucky..as for me, i have always screwed things up.
it was a long tym ago, i became very close with a fren of mine whom i never thought to ever be close with. we had alot in common especially sports. everything was going on fine and dandy till hormones attack.
yes, i fell for him. just great! just when my life was going on smoothly, i suddenly have feelings that i cant control.eager to get it off my chest, i gave him a poem expressing how i feel..at that tym it was just for the sole purpose of "getting it off my chest".
it has been about a year since the poem and everyone pretended like it never happen until when history repeated itself. this is where i truly screwed up..
knowing that i still like this guy,i told him hoping that feel better by the end of the day.. we had 2 appointments to sort things out..the last tym ive ever tok to him was the nite we stayed out till almost 3 am. and it was the worst nite of all.
during that night, i literally spill my heart out!and every bit hurts....it also hurts more from the fact that spilling my heart was worthless in a way that he doesnt feel the same way...sometimes i ask myself, why am i doing this? every word i mention cost me every part of him thinking differently of me...
things will never again be the same after what happened. ive tried not seeing him hoping that the feeling will just slide away but it gets worse. why do we have unintentional feelings like dis? how do we get rid of it?...
from very good friends to awkwardness towards each other...yup yup, i sure screwed things up alright!